Make A MILK RUN Scene Ending Choice

First of all, I want to welcome all the new folks who recently indicated an interest in MILK RUN! Thanks and I hope you enjoyed the beginning of MILK RUN.

Just to review, MILK RUN is a military SciFi novel about a young captain fresh out of space command school on his first mission as captain of the USS Princeton, an old destroyer class spacecraft. But what our hero thought would be an easy first mission turns out to be a test of his ability to lead a crew and ship much older than him against an enemy that is using his own fiancée to destroy him, his ship and his mission. Can our young captain complete his mission and save his fiancée too?

Writing for my new military SciFi, MILK RUN, is proceeding nicely, thanks to the help and encouragement of the story’s beta reviewers who provide comment and feedback as the story builds. They are truly influencing the direction this story takes!  By the way, I’m still accepting additional beta readers.  So, if interested, please click here and enjoy the ride.  

Now, an interesting thing happened as I was working on Scene 17, titled “Stand Off.” After posting the scene to my StoryOrigin beta reader site, I got the idea to drive the story, and the main character (Captain Toby Louis) deeper into trouble.   But I’m not sure if it would work.  So, that’s where beta readers come to the rescue.  

This new Scene 17 version is not the usual set of corrections I make based on beta reader feedback. Rather it’s a major rewrite of the scene’s ending!  So, I’ve created an alternate version 2 of Scene 17 “Standoff,” the ending of which turns far worst for Toby and his crew.  

My writing process for creating new content (or major rewrites) starts off with “beats,” which are short numbered sentences or paragraphs that show/describe what is happening in the story. If I like it, then I grow, refine, then weave those beats together to become a full narrative complete with dialog and action.  

In the alternate version of Scene -17, “Standoff,” the story goes in a different direction where the USS Princeton is under attack from the Telrachnid gunship.  It feels like the USS Princeton is being cut up to pieces and Captain Toby Louis has ordered the ship to cease fire hoping his ex-fiancé, Smriti, in the gunship will convince the Telrachnids to also cease fire.   But (second in command) Commander John Emerson wants to continue the fight and countermands Toby’s command then orders the security guards to remove Toby from the bridge.   Toby and the commander go back and forth at each other trying to get the crew to follow their lead.  Meanwhile, the USS Princeton continues to disintegrate. 

You can read both the original version 1 scene (click this post here) and the alternate ending version 2 scene (click that post here).  Which to you favor? You can let me know your thoughts by commenting on either post.

Meanwhile, here are a few recommendations I have for more military style SciFi action!

Here’s a story, that like MILK RUN, is about first commands.  It’s a SciFi novel called, well of course, FIRST COMMAND by Jay Toney.  Click the image and check it out!

Drew Avera’s tag line tells you what this exciting story is all about… “War tore them apart. Revenge brought them together.”  Click the image and check it out!

I read Bruno Martins Soares’ book and it really does remind me of the Battle of the Atlantic in WWII. Like MILK RUN, the hero is a newbie in a space navy on a desperate mission. Click the image and check it out!

And don’t forget that you can signup (click here) to be a MILK RUN beta reader and influence this story’s progress and actions.   Thanks!

Written by 

Pilot, geek, retired, happy, healthy, loves science/engineering and writing SciFi books!! 🤓

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